Kadin-Part 3

That Saturday my parents came and so did Pat, I had a few visitors and my best friend came down from Ottawa to see me, I was in the hospital, it was going to be ok is what everyone told me, on Monday I would get a plan, worst case I would be on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy…..that was worst case right???!!! Pat had to go to work that night and before he left I leaned into him and said out loud what I feared “what if we lose him?” he hugged me tight and said “baby, that’s not going to happen. We have to stay positive…ok?” “ok” another night alone, I went to the bathroom a million times and had the same text conversation with Pat….”a little bleeding”, “nothing this time”, “no bright blood”…..until Sunday around 5:30 am, I had just finished peeing when I felt a sudden rush, I pulled on the emergency cord and the two night nurses came in, they helped me to the bed and took me straight down the hall to a room on the delivery floor, nurses and the attending OB came in and it was decided that I would stay there until I stabilized again.

Terrified I texted my mom, it was 6:00 am……I had texted her at 6:00 am to tell her I was pregnant 22 weeks earlier, this time it was to tell her the bleeding was bad and I had been moved rooms. I called Pat and told him I was moved rooms because I was bleeding again. For two hours I was there alone with the nice nurses coming to look in on me. Shortly before 8 my mom, dad and Pat arrived, the OB came in and told us the plan was to keep me there until Monday and hopefully the bleeding would subside, it had been two hours so she said I could be moved back to my room. I asked if I could pee before I went and the nurse said sure and she came to help me.

I sat on the toilet and I felt a sudden violent rush, the nurse stopped and looked at me and said “honey are you peeing?” I froze “no, I’m not”……blood everywhere…..so much blood. She ran or pulled the cord, I don’t remember, but I was back on the bed and 3 surgeons were suddenly in the room telling me I was losing the baby. “NOOO. NO. NOT MY BABY!” I held on to my belly and looked from my mom to my dad to Pat. This was not happening. Pat was asking about the baby and Dr. McGrath looked at me and said “I’m sorry the baby won’t make it, but you are bleeding out and we need to operate” “NO!” there was so much commotion, my mom was to the right of me telling me “You can’t die, Karla you need to stay with us we need you!”, “NO!” both hands on my belly I refused, I could feel Kadin moving, and I could feel the blood, I was getting dizzy, I was rapidly bleeding to death, in front of my parents and my husband I was refusing to be operated on and because I was still conscious they could not make that decision for me. I was deciding to die.

“The bleeding stopped once, let’s just go to the OR and if it slows down again we won’t operate” is what the attending OB who had seen me since I was rushed in told me, “ok” in seconds a nurse had a bottle in my hand and I was told to drink it, Pat was given scrubs and they wheeled me past him because he had to wait outside, I wrote it before but it was the look in his eyes that kept me from dying. Once inside the OR they lifted me on to the bed, iv’s were being put in and I was freaking out, “NO!!, YOU SAID WE COULD WAIT!” I was screaming as everyone was rushing around me, Dr. McGrath stood right in front of me and said “I am so sorry,but you are bleeding to death and the baby needs to come out…NOW, we can’t save him but we can save you!!.” at that exact moment Kadin kicked me hard, I will forever believe that it was him telling me “I have to go mom and you can’t come with me.” that was the last kick I felt. “Can we operate?” “..yes”

Part 1
Part 2
Part 4

 

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